Originally Posted by
NWIFlyer
given even a "short haul" F ticket doesn't qualify.
Everything you say is correct apart from the above.
Buying a short-haul First Class ticket on Alaska does entitle you to Alaska Airlines lounge access in
Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York - JFK, Portland, or Anchorage. Basically, their own lounges.
You are correct for virtually every other US airline (Hawaiian also has lounges for their inter-island F customers).