I've spent a lot of time in both. As far as airports go, RDU is a much easier and faster option to commute from. CLT has a terrible ramp and the airport is utilized far beyond its design.

RDU has served me well. It ain't the most happening place in the World, but has a very educated, affluent population and lots of good restaurants/watering holes. It's also only 2 hours from the beach and 3 hours from the mountains.

As others have said, if you plan to continue with DL, you have a lot more options from RDU (assuming a return to pre-pandemic service levels eventually).

If I could live anywhere I wanted, I'd prob choose ILM over RDU or CLT. I find CLT to be one of the more boring cities I go to, but then again, I'm not in banking and if you ain't in banking you're a nobody in CLT.