He felt me all over.

On the inside of my leg.

Outside too.

My arms.

Around my waist.

On the front of my pelvis.

Was I happy to see him, or was it just some keys in my trouser pocket? The latter of course. But in so doing he DID get close to my unmentionable bits.

He even touched me on my breasts. Should I have been offended?

That damn TSA, they're nothing but a bunch of groping pigs.

How do you say Transportation Security Administration in German? After all, this happened at Frankfurt Airport.