I don't believe it's entirely wrong to base one's expectations on the experiences of others in similar situations - this is what I believe Flyertalk to be about. My expectations for the Starwood GOLD program may seem high, however I believe my expectations are more for the program to be consistent. It certainly isn't as high or as audacious if I had been a Plat member, however there is some expectation for upgrade or equivalent recognition. In the end, I believe I've received neither - which goes directly against my experiences at virtually every other propety within the Starwood family I've stayed at.

I was certainly not asking for their BEST room (the Tower Rooms are not their best rooms, however they are next in line on their room types, next to "Classic" and "Executive" and right below their "Suites"). I wasn't even asking to be upgraded on my free "starwood points" night...only on the nights I paid real money for.

For the benefit of the rest of the audience here's what SPG.com says about being a GOLD member
As an elite member, you don't need to redeem Starpoints for a room upgrade --- you'll automatically be given a Preferred Room at check-in when available.
You are indeed correct...that it's confusing that 'upgrade' is used alongside with the phrase "Preferred Room".

Maybe I'm growing to be a bit too particular and grouchy about things in my older age.....