I posted about a month ago. I have since extended my visa for Singapore by 1 month, but I don't think any further extensions will be be possible. Now I would like to post again to share a bit about my situation and ask how a nervous and scared flier can sleep on a 16 hour flight.

I have found a lot of articles and discussions about sleeping on an airplane and I have also found a lot of articles and discussions on fear of flying, but I have not found any advice to read about sleeping on an airplane *for when* you have a terrible fear of flying.

Due to my situation of being in Singapore during a pandemic and having to travel back to the United States in mid-June, there is only one flight option that works during this time due to most other flights being cancelled. It is a flight route and schedule that I would have never considered in pre- pandemic times. It is a 16 hour non stop flight from Singapore to California.
The flight has virtually every thing that makes me scared about flying.

1) It is a red eye flight which I have always avoided booking in my life since I have multiple sleep disorders, with the worst being "nocturnal panic attacks."

2) The flight goes directly over the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and perhaps there may be a lot of turbulence. I get scared easily when a flight does not go over and does not stay close to land and looking at FlightAware and FlightRadar this route goes directly over the middle of the Pacific Ocean, not near any land.

3) The flight is also entirely at night, so it will be dark the entire time flying over the ocean for 16 hours. This scares me greatly.

4) During the pandemic there are many less planes in the air so I worry there will be less planes to communicate with the captain of my flight about turbulence ahead.

5) Finally, it's not a small aircraft type but it is smaller than planes I have taken the past for longer flights. I know it's partially psychological, but I have been fortunate and always felt safer on larger aircraft with four engines, for example. This is a medium wide body aircraft with two engines. It's an Airbnb A350-900, whereas in the past I managed to do longer flights (9 - 12 hours) on bigger aircraft such as 380-800s, 747s, and 777-300ERs. So there's less peace of mind with that too. I would actually have significantly less worries if the flight were operated by a A380-800 or 747 because that's how I've always felt.

I need help to prepare to sleep on this thing and try to not have a nervous breakdown. In the past, I have had extremely scary panic attacks on planes (even just on a 3 hour flight last year) and in the far past I have purposely missed flights that I to afraid to take. Taking drugs is also not an option I'm not going to start taking drugs with potential side effects right before my flight in a couple weeks and also it's not an option in Singapore anyways. Sometimes I have panic attacks from strong meditation too. I'm looking to do this all naturally with hopefully some support, encouragement, and reassurance, and more advice on how to sleep.

I'm in economy class on the plane, but my presumption is that the flight will be empty enough perhaps to have a row to myself to lay down, although I can't be certain the flight will be that empty, and checking the seat chart now is no guarantee that the flight will remain as empty as it is now. I definitely feel I could try to sleep if I'm just able to lay down entirely although it will still be hard, and I anticipate either being too stressed to sleep or waking up every 20 minutes, but maybe there's a chance I can sleep a few hours without waking up if turbulence isn't too bad.

Oh and then you add the coronavirus fears as well and how should I proteced myself while trying to sleep? I guess I should keep the surgical masks on all night and wear goggles or an eye mask? I'm not sure what else I can do for a 16 hour flight?

I also worry what the health checks and immigration in the U.S will be like during this time. Does anyone have any recent experiences? That's just an added stress too after an extremely challenging and exhausting and extremely long flight.

On top of those stressors, I plan to have a layover in California for two nights to rest from the long trip, and after that I will take another 3 hour domestic flight on a small plane to get to the city I'm trying to get too. There's also the jetlag and 15 hour time difference, which in the past between Asia and west coast U.S has taken at least a week, and usually two weeks for my body to adjust. There's also all the stress about what's happening in the U.S with the political turmoil and the epidemic.

There is so much incredible stress for this trip for someone who has been overseas for the past few years, and who has suffered from aviophobia, PTSD, and panic attacks for several years. When I reached out to the U.S Embassy about my situation, they described the flights as "easy" which is non-sense to hear for someone who has had fear of flying and panic attacks for years. In my mind, I want to tell myself over and over it will be possible to make it through, but I am also constantly worrying about it non-stop enough to write this post and share it on the Internet to strangers to seek more advice. I have a therapist that I work with (virtually now) for anxiety and trauma, and of course, I have brought up the fear of flying in sessions, but I just think the more help and feedback I can get hopefully the better.

Originally I wanted to do a stopover anywhere because the flight routes would be closer to land and it would give me a chance to get off the plane mid-way in either Japan or Taiwan. But all flights to Japan except for one that doesn't work schedule-wise, have been canceled. Taiwan and Hong Kong and other countries are not options because they are not allowing transit passengers during this crazy time, and that will be the case indefinitely. So even though I have flown between N. America and Asia over the years because my partner and kids are in Asia, regardless of my fear of flying, however, this time the circumstances are really extremely different than in the past. In the past, I would always, always take shorter flights and more stopovers to get to my destination. This is the first time where I'm forced to take such an extremely long red-eye flight. California is even the wrong state. I'm trying to get to Seattle, but there are no other flight options that make sense due to all the flight cancellations since March. So the only option that seems to make sense is the flight to California. Any flights from Singapore will be long, but in normal times, I have always stopped in Japan or Taiwan in between (usually for a week or longer). This will be the first time I have ever gone direct.

Thank you for any advice or help on this situation and trying to make things easier in a tricky situation.