Thanks everyone for all the info. If you're looking for more info on how things are at ORD in the middle of this whole mess, this was our experience:
We were all given medical forms before landing and health-screened after CBP (there's no Global Entry, but there are very few travelers anyway). T5 is mostly empty. With the exception of the McDonald's that was full of teenagers (don't ask). Got the curbside bus to T3 and got through TSA Precheck in no time. There are still a lot of food vendors open at T3. Other than the lack of crowds, you can't really tell there's a global pandemic—staff didn't have any special equipment, there was nothing shielding them from the general public (in AMS they put up flexible acrylic sheets at every counter). A lot of passengers were keeping their distance, but there were also a lot that didn't care.
We're now in complete quarantine for the recommended 14 days. Stay safe, everyone. We only traveled because we truly had to.