1. Just flew MSY-JFK last night with my son and I in Main 1 and my wife separated off our reservation into Main 2 so that at least he and I would be upgrade eligible (didn't get an upgrade, obviously). We all boarded together during Main 1 and the gate agent didn't say anything. I felt slightly embarrassed doing it, but not much.
2. DL shouldn't have 11 different boarding zones, half of which inexplicably come before Zone 1.
3. Board from the last row forward, load the plane objectively faster than any other method, and make this entire discussion moot.