You know you are on a KLM aircraft when:


Your pockets are checked for food and drink.

You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change.

Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your velcro.

The pilot asks all the passengers to chip in a little for fuel.

When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

The pilot shouts at the farmers to get the cows out of the way whilst driving to the new runway at Schipol.

The 'in flight' safety check takes twice as long as normal.

The stewardesses wear name tags as well as ‘trainee badges’.

It is compulsory to buy chewing gum or sweets on board.

The stewardesses expect to be tipped.

The stewardesses are not wearing makeup!

But they all wear parachutes!

You ask the pilot how often their planes crash and he says, “Just the once”.

The local undertakers advertise on the back of the headrest.

No film. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.

You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.

All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.

Sick bags, safety cards and will forms are all in the seat pouch.

When you arrive at your destination, you are in the middle of nowhere!