Paul5E,
All advice you got was good. When I lived in Oceanside I routinely drove to SNA. Longer distance but much shorter time with the toll road. The ACs are comparable in size with SAN having a slightly better view of the runway than SNA.
My advice would be to try it both ways (SAN vs SNA) using flights that left at similar times.......it may be pretty comparable by the time you take the coaster and transfer to a taxi, etc. Then you could use airfare as the decision-maker (SAN tends to price out a little higher).
As for LAX flights, I decide based on requalifictation requirements. If I need the extra miles or segments I'll take AE SAN-LAX. Otherwise, depending upon time of day it's just as fast to drive to LAX, and I prefer to wait in the LAX AC rather than the SAN commuter lounge.