Called number on back of Citi Premier (1-800-842-6596). After three minutes of navigating automated menus, I ask to close the card and am directed to an automated system. Deciding I want to talk to someone, I say I don't want to close. I hang up and call the only retention number I can find (800-444-2568). After a short hold message, it hangs up on me immediately.

I try the first number again. Five minutes of automated menus. Finally I say the word "close" enough times and get put on hold for an agent.

30 seconds later, it hangs up on me.

Citi is a sisyphean nightmare.

edit: I started a web chat instead, the rep ended up saying "as you are a valued customer to citi and we are waiving off your membership fee and you will get trhe [sic] credit in your next statement, please be rest assured."

Wow. That was very unexpected.