My wife and I are traveling with our (one year old) who will be on our laps (no separate ticket). We are traveling tomorrow and unfortunately just saw that AA's rules state that either a car seat can be checked at the gate, but not both (which is what we planned to do). We don't really have a bag for either of the two (we could probably fit one or the other in a huge suitcase or something, but then we'd have to carry that around for the whole trip). I'm wondering:

1) Since my wife and I are both traveling, can she gate check the car seat while I gate check the stroller?
2) If not, what will really happen in practice if we do bring both to the gate? Is this really enforced? Will they charge us for one of the items (and if yes, how much - if it matters, I'm a cardholder so we should get 2 free checked bags, and we're only using one)? I'm assuming they won't make us throw the stroller out or something, but are they (logistically) even able to charge for a gate checked bag at the gate?

Thanks!