Have to agree with everyone else about the fact that there are both good and bad gay hotels. Key to finding the right gay hotel or B&B is to do a lot of research on the location you are traveling to. We (both 36 living in the suburbs with two dogs and two cats) typically book gay establishments in major gay vacation destinations like Palm Springs (Inndulge) and Key West (Equator Resort). When we stay in major cities, we usually chose major chains like Starwood Hotel's W brand or Marriott properties. I have found the staff at most upscale hotels to be gay friendly...especially at the W Hotels. Have never stayed at a Kimpton Group hotel but I hear they are very gay friendly. (Sorry but I like my points at Starwood and Marriott!)

Overall you must look for the type of establishment you will feel confortable in. I don't like cruisy places but I do like gay resorts where the guests are friendly and talkative. I wouldn't feel comfortable in meat market places and that is why we stay away from them. Now that you have found this forum, you can always post direct questions about resorts in specific areas.