Nick, thank you for sharing that with us. I've almost wet my knickers. Thank God that one was lighting a match as you'd probably have blown the aircraft to Kingdon Come. Darling, I think that is priceless.

OK. Let's see what Mega***** would do under the circumstances. (Bet you that they're used to Mr Branson's local on the upper deck or wherever it is).

First, you should never have known that they'd been upgraded. Whoever the CSD was needs his/her bum kicked basically. (or was it a case of birds of a feather shriek together?).

Second. It is the Purser's job to sort it whether she likes it or not (probably thought that they should never have been therein the first place but that's not her call).

Third. I'd quote the song.

"I'm the one who put you where you are now,
And I can put you back down too"
If that's full, you'll go in the next available space where that is on the plane.

I'd be polite and address them as "Your Majesties" before delivering the above. Secondly whilst wandering is hard to curb from the front backwards, I'd have them in the office and explain the facts of life to them.

Without knowing how they got the upgrade in the first place is intirguing, my fear is that they were staff. If they were, I'd report them.

Dear, Sweet revenge I hope that it wasn't. Actually, I'm suprised that Sim didn't say something, as she sems to be able to control you and thus I would imagine that she could probably deal with a pair of silly tarts (go on make my day and tell me that they were from Essex).

Now, you've come back. I have missed you, and so have the lads (these not the slappers). I am hoping, no not hoping, issuing an edict, that you will now pour all the accumulated filth from your mind and body into the pages here.


Big Hug (ps we deal with the likes of the last thing to leave your body bu lighting a match. Maybe I'll rethink that in the light of your post.)