GaryK: "Not trying to trash any relative of your late wife, seriously you really need to determine who you should deal with.
It is a more-than-you-think common problem - too many cooks.
You really need to deal with the person who can actually access the account."
It was extremely generous of them to give the money to my son. They are simply not financially sophisticated. Will give them a lot of space. I know sophisticated Chinese investors in the US who owe me favors (as a lawyer, I am always being hit up for free advice.) and I will run this by my friends.
Will mention that the person doing all of the heavy lifting in China (my cildrens' 40 yr-old cousin)was asking about how much cash could be taken out which was not something I wanted to hear.