suranyi, those are valid points, and I think many would agree that being in a cramped space in coach is not the same as sitting in your home or office, esp. if the seat in front of you is reclined, you're in a tight spot between two people (esp. if the people are large in height or width), you're in a window seat, etc.

The problem is not with the person who may need to put their hands on another seat -- I'm sure I've done this at times -- but with the person who GRABS and YANKS the seat unnecessarily hard and without warning... especially if that person does it not as a split-second reflexive thing but as a prolonged PULLING of the seat with absolutely no acknowledgement of the human in it. It's as if they completely refuse to acknowledge your presence (either that, or they really, totally don't care).

The times someone's done this to me, yeah, I've been annoyed. The times someone has tried to be gentle and says "excuse me" before/as they're getting up -- as I and other polite people would do -- then it's a non-issue. Those of us who agree that the hard seat-pullers are thoughtless don't have a problem with the (sometimes necessary) action itself but with the *impolite people* who think of no one but themselves. "Common courtesy" just ain't that common, I guess!