Out of curiosity, could the OP do a SDC on their itinerary with it routing through IAD (i.e. EWR > IAD > SFO) then call up UA and ask them to drop the first segment? Supposing OP's hubby has UA Gold status or above the SDC would be free and after performing the change they could then split off the PNR. The benefit of routing through IAD for the hubby would be that both EWR > IAD and IAD > SFO would be CPU eligible. In addition, the lounges at IAD are a real improvement over EWR (i.e. TK and LH both easily available landside?)

Safe Travels,

James