This stament is kind of gross but...

I've found that the quality of food is directly proportional to the relative level of cleanliness, or lack thereof, in a Chinese restaurant. The dirtier the place, the better your food tastes. I never, ever visit the bathroom.

On another note, my girlfriend is Philipine and when we go out to a Chinese restaurant together, we get better service, and better tasting food when we're together than when I go with any non-Asian friends.

The other weekend we went for Dim Sum in Chicago's Chinatown. We were seated with all of the "ethnic" people while all the caucasians sat together in another part of the dining room. The dim sum trays come fast and furios to us, but not on the other side of the room. Just something I've observed.