I know this may sound a bit hard, but I would be wary of asking for consistency, since there are plenty of airlines out there who will simply, but consistently, say "there's no leeway here, pay the change fee". Consistent = mindless, if one wants to take it to an extreme reading.

It is further complicated by (a) different fare basis do have rules on cancellations and changes anyway and (b) some fare basis do have particular clauses on death of the traveller or a family member. The cancellation one typically says " WAIVED FOR DEATH OF A PASSENGER AND PASSENGERS TRAVELLING COMPANIONS" and doubtless that gets read fairly liberally when the agent tries to help a passenger. Possibly more so when the passenger has status and a long list of recent and past bookings.

Having said that, some of the sums above don't seem a lot of money to me, in the context of a family crisis. Accepting we aren't all made of money, the fact is there are some things which are more important than money.

[Is an Avios booking going to help incidentally? Looking at solutions here rather than issues....]