Several thoughts:
(1) As well as helping with jet lag, light can also benefit people like me who have a melatonin issue and have to sleep with the light on. (Sleeping with the light on, incidentally, means that, for me, jet lag virtually doesn't exist. I am never in the dark, and therefore the "natural" secretions of melatonin triggered by light and dark phases do not take place.)
(2) Anyone who thinks wanting to have light is incredibly selfish is in fact incredibly selfish themselves in insisting that only darkness is permitted. Those who need the light have no choice about how to reguate that, but eye masks are provided for those who want to be in the dark. The latest generation of eye-masks are, I am told, a great improvement on their predecessors.
(3) I have never had any problem over-riding the FAs' central control of the windows on a 787. You simply alter the refraction the way you nornally would. Have I just been lucky?
Just curious and not trying to be challenging, but what do you do on night flights when there is not much natural light? Presumably turn on the reading light? Could you not do the same on a day flight (with the window shades closed)? And I don't think the average passenger is selfish. They do not bring eye masks and certainly not all can afford the best. So they are either not experienced or people assume that people will sleep on long flights and most people do not sleep with the lights on. Also, do you keep the shades up the entire flight? Perhaps airlines should sell eye masks or people who insist on shades open (in economy) carry some spares for their neighbors.