The OP has done this many times and finally hit a property that does it by the books. Customer service aside because who knows how the OP’s wife reacted since she may have done this many time without issue, a lot of “finger pointing” both ways. In reality if the OP wasn’t showing up, he really wanted the benefits for the wife (because I for one want the same for my gf or family as well if put into this position). Somewhere in here there was a DYKWIA, maybe from both sides. (Speculation here of course )