OP, I would send the GM at the hotel an email describing the situation. Be clear. Describe how you might have better handled the situation by adding your wife's name to reservation.
Then point out:
Last week at a CY she was given the riot act to the point she was in tears. The hotel would not let her check in. The "manager" was even ruder than the first employee.
If possible include the staff member's names.
The front desk agent and manager could have easily handled the situation in a positive manner yet choose another route. Marriott front desk agents and mangers receive customer handling training, possibly a course refresher is due!!
- Unfortunately most of the posters in this thread seemed to be as clueless as the front desk agent and the manager.
- The OP is not asking about missing plat points.
- Nor is the OP asking who should have access to the room regardless of their attire.
- And no the thread is not about the names listed on the reservation.
- "IMO it's over the top to refer to police" sadly referring to the front desk agent as someone who grilled the OP's wife like a police officer grills a suspect during an interrogation seems to have confused one poster.