The $9 Lightning to headphone adapter will let you plug a regular headset in. I actually don't know if it includes microphone functionality, though.
I feel your pain - just got an iPhone Xs to replace my 6s. I bought a Belkin charge and headphone adapter, which works well, includes microphone functionality, and lets me control music playback with the buttons on my earbuds. I also got a Bluetooth adapter. The battery lasts for two solid days of 7-8 hours of use each.
Belkin charge and listen:
http://a.co/d/2cvjS92
Bluetooth adapter:
http://a.co/d/5bLQYiD