pambam

Warning: Racial profiling may be implied if not actually intended.

Three weeks ago I flew Emirates for the first time IST-DXB-MEL. My husband had just had a great experience flying on Emirates to Oz so I was looking forward to it.

Imagine my surprise when I get to my seat to find the row occupied by a veiled woman in the middle and a child on each side. I politely ask her to pick up her child - under 2, it was clearly a lap child. She refused. I asked again and she again refused. I called the flight attendant. She asked politely and the woman refused again, to which the flight attendant shrugged and said she would find me another seat.

Since I insist on an aisle seat - chosen and paid for in advance - the only one she could find was next to a very large man spilling from the middle into the aisle seat. But as I tried to sit, he barked at me to get up and that he would NOT sit next to a WOMAN! I was stunned - I fly numerous times a month and have never run into this! Unbelievably, the flight attendant shrugs AGAIN and we go off again trying to find a seat.

After probably nearly 30 minutes of many attempts, I end up at the bulkhead surrounded by nannies struggling to hold onto wild toddlers whom they were clearly not allowed to discipline. I was hit in the face by arms and legs numerous times. When the meal came, I explained that I could not possibly eat in such a situation. The flight attendance was very kind, asked about my choice, and said she would hold it for me in the kitchen.

The food fight then began, these children throwing food from the trays at each other, at other passengers and into the aisle. Then, to my shock, these nannies threw - literally - the food trays onto the floor, spilling food everywhere. And to top it off....as Dave Barry says I SWEAR I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP - one of the nannies pulls down the pants of a 2 year old boy and has him URINATE INTO THE FOOD TRAY ON THE FLOOR.

I disappeared immediately to the kitchen where I stood to eat my meal but at least in a clean environment. All the flight attendants soothed me that things would be better AFTER Dubai. And they were.

Such was my first - and last - time flying Emirates.