This problem sounds similar to one that someone else posted a few months ago, but I am having trouble finding the posts / thread. The added, extra-confounding detail here is that you report your account summary lists 0 PQM/S/D credit for each flight, which I can't imagine any reason for. Have you not yet asked United to investigate?

edit add: just noted you also said you can't get your MP number in the booking and you might have a name mismatch. If that is the case, either enter JR at the end of your name when you book or submit a name change request for your account, and update your name to match correctly. I'm not sure if that would be the cause, as I don't know what the system does if the MP number doesn't match first name / last name.