I was on hold on a single call for no less than two and a half hours yesterday while my wife was driving home. This was initially to track down our bags; I called the number a baggage agent at EWR gave my wife and waited almost exactly an hour until my call was picked up by someone in an Indian call center. The agent there took my three bag tag numbers, looked up the records, and informed me he could do nothing for me because I'm a UA MileagePlus member. Apparently one of the more dubious benefits of membership is that ordinary agents can't handle your baggage issues, so he perfunctorily transfered me to another line, warning me with what Kipling might have described as more-than-Oriental understatement that I might have a "short wait". After another ninety minutes, a MP agent answered, confirmed that ordinary baggage agents really can't handle MP members, and told me our bags were at CVG.