If these special services are not offered, ask for them. Otherwise, you won't get the full PHNY experience:

• Confirmed suite upgrade, downgraded at checkin.
• A room whose only view is a brick wall of the adjacent building.
• $250 per night hold on your credit card for "incidentals".
• A stern admonishment that water and coffee are free, and that if you even _touch_ anything else in the room, you will be charged. Then they leave a bowl of fruit, just to see if you were listening.
• Complete freedom to choose anything you want at breakfast, as long as it is the one single cheapest meal on the menu, with a stern admonishment that you will be promptly and fully charged for any overage.
• 4 pm checkout ... but your room key stops working at 12 noon. When you go to get the key reprogrammed, a stern warning that if you stay even one minute past 4 pm, you will be charged for a second night.

If you enjoy stern warnings from hotel desk clerks and waitstaff, then you'll have a great time at PHNY.