Check-in at CUR is busy, but efficient, and I'm given my BP for 1K yet again, and told to be through security before 18.00. This seemed bizarre, as the flight is at 19.30. I pop outside for a last ciggie before the flight, and head through. Now I start to understand why. Security checks are thorough, but not too slow. And then come the questions. And the 'can you come and wait in this room, please, sir'. And the waiting. And then watching every young, lone, male traveller join me. I, any my hand luggage, are thoroughly searched, and I am asked to give permission to have my stomach X-rayed. Hmm. Caribbean to Amsterdam? Ah, yes, drugs. Now I understand.

I am quickly shoved out of another room towards a woman and told to report to her. But it's not an X-ray, it's just boarding pass collection. No X-ray. Probably a good thing. Now, once again, this airport shows its lack of ability to cope with a 747-load, as the transit passengers from SXM (the origination of the AMS flight) pile in, along with other pax heading to Aruba, Bonaire, Port-au-Prince, Havana and Caracas on other airlines. I have an invitation in my hand to the Plesman Lounge, which I decide to visit. Decidedly not worth it. It's a very basic lounge. Not unpleasant, but even busier than downstairs, with basic snacks and drinks. I fill up on those two, and go for a wander downstairs instead.

The KLM 747 looks impressive outside, freshly painted, standing proud on the tarmac next to the DC9 and assorted props there. People are still scurrying out the several loads of steps beside it. I lean, watch, and buy duty free.

They board transit passengers first, as a form of compensation for making them get off in the first place, I s'pose. After that, and despite the different coloured cards everyone else has, it's an almighty everyone-for-themselves surge forward. Once again, priority is given to those gifted with supernatural queue selection qualities. And I haven't lost my touch since the outbound flight.

I board, and am greeted by "1K, sir? OK, 2K". I ask why. The FA rather brusquely explains that a woman who had a 'sore leg' had asked to be seated there so 'she could stretch out'. Hmm, a likely story. I'm not impressed by this. However, the purser overhears this, and quickly runs over with a far more pleasing explanation. "Sir, we have a lot of families on this flight today. What we've tried to do is to keep them together, and to keep upstairs free from children so that our élites can have a quieter flight back. There is an aisle seat for you upstairs, if you'd like." I'd like. I don't know which statement is truer, but I know which I prefer. I admire the purser's attitude, and head upstairs which is, indeed, childless, and which has, indeed, an aisle seat waiting for me.

We leave a little late (late inbound from SXM), and the usual nuts and drinks are served, this time by a very friendly, chatty FA. For dinner, I opt for chicken with shiitake mushrooms and an asparagus risotto. The sauce is foul, almost inedible. However, the meat and risotto are rather nice, so a bit of scraping (which, really, shouldn't be necessary) and it's a passable meal. Once, again, though, the dessert (baked cheesecake with strawberry coulis) is out of this world, and seconds are readily dished out!

The leg-lever coming into play again, I settle back. For a non lie-flat seat, this is very comfortable. I am instantly sleepy, but a nagging noise keeps me awake. The children (probably all asleep already downstairs) are absent, but there's one guy who keep rattling on and on... The FA seems to note several irritated turned heads, and politely asks him to wander down towards the galley to continue any conversation, to allow people to sleep. This guy, however, seems to feel the need to make his voice heard at all costs, and keeps going, even louder now. He does eventually pipe down, as one of the other pax asks him to keep it down. Phew...

And then, I wake up 6 hours later. Ladies and Gentlemen, that is a new record for my sleep on a plane! I give hearty congratulations to KLM. NZ come second at 5.5 hours (in Y!), and BA at 5 hours in NCW. I do have a sneaking suspicion, though, that BA would have scored higher if the flight had been longer... But nonetheless, this is great! Breakfast is a rather rubbery omelette, which I leave, but the usual continental stuff is there, and does this trick nicely. And they keep the strong tea flowing, which is as good praise as you can get for breakfast service in my book.

Before I know it, we're landing, and... Oh, arse. It's the Polderbaan. We land. And taxi. And taxi. And taxi. And wait a bit. And then taxi a bit more. Several announcements come over about not standing up just yet, no really, we are actually still taxiing, yes, we know it's a long way. And then a rather ominous one. WBC passengers will disembark first. Yes, that's usual. Then Tourist class. Yup, par for the course. But, "as there will be a special arrivals procedure, we would ask you to have all your documents ready for leaving the aircraft, and would ask you to allow passengers with connections to disembark first." (As if that ever happens). Oh dear, this sounds irritating.

It isn't too bad, as it turns out, but then, I was about 10th off the plane. I am asked for my passport. I walk past 3 or 4 sniffer dogs. I am asked about my stay. I have to show my e-ticket receipts and hotel confirmation and bill. My hand luggage is then x-rayed. Drugs, perchance? This leaves little time to make my connecting flight, which is, naturally, at the tail-end of D pier, which is an almighty schlep to follow a red-eye.

Priorities straight, I get a double espresso and cigarette in before heading to the gate. Gate gaat dicht! Already! Hmm, this sounds fishy... There's a load of weekenders heading to the end of D, who are obviously bound for London, and is the gate gaating dicht? Is it bolax. We have to endure 5 minutes in an overfilled holding pen before a brave woman holds the crowd back and shouts "any Europe Select passengers? Any Gold or Platinum Élite?" I'm not in C for this flight, but I am PE. I start to make my way to the front. Nobody comes forward. She tries again. "Come on, there must be someone with a Gold card here!" I wave my BP and she ushers me forwards.

The plane is a 738, which has now had all of the formerly excellent C seats ripped out and replaced by new, rather uncomfortable Economy seats. I am in Y here, at the front, and it feels very cramped. OK, I've just come off WBC, but even compared to LH or BD in Y, this is tight. We take off (not the Polderbaan, thankfully), and, after 40 minutes of North Sea bumpiness and 15 minutes circling the picturesque delights of North-East London (hmm), we do my favourite along-the-Thames descent into LHR (I wave at my flat on the way past, and smile). We land 10 minutes early, the FO boldly announces. And then queue for 20 minutes to cross the South runway. And then park on a remote stand. And then wait 5 minutes for a bus to turn up. And then get sent to the wrong gate. And then arrive at the transit doors and wait for someone to open them. And then walk past a broken travelator. And then wait 15 minutes in the EEA passport queue, as they've only got 2 immigration officers on for the 3 747-loads that have just arrived alongside us. On the up side, the luggage was already there...

So, the summary?

The FD Élite Helpdesk were outstanding. This is often the luck of the draw, but I drew well.

LHR-AMS was the good old days of KLM, as it used to be. This was why I started flying with them.

Priority boarding at AMS needs sorely sorting out. If they're going to announce it as part of the product, then enforce it!

AMS-CUR-AMS were excellent flights. The crew were mostly good, but the pursers outstanding. The one disappointment was the main courses served. They really should be far better in their flagship product. If they can make desserts as good as they do, why can't they make main courses to match?

The Kurá Hulanda was a wonderful hotel, worthy of its designation as one of the island's top hotels, and far better, in my view, than the chain hotels on their artificial beaches.

Curaçao was a fascinating, sunny, friendly little island. I'm not sure it could keep me entertained for longer than I was there for, but I'm not the 'sunning myself' type. If I took the the diving more, though, I'm sure I could stay there for weeks.

AMS-LHR, however, reminded me why I stopped flying on KLM. Europe Select is a joke, and there are far better Y classes out there, even for this short flight. LHR isn't great at the best of times, but I still far prefer BD ex-T1 than the mess that is KLM at T4. T4 was always like this on arrival, and it's just a pain.

I had a wonderful holiday, and thought WBC was at its best on these flights. Plus, a fare of under £300 which I can upgrade to with 40k miles (earning over half of them back) is quite an achievement. I wonder if this will stay through the AF integration? Hmm. The experience would make me glad to fly in WBC again, but I could not return to KLM short-haul (the majority of my flights). It's just no longer the pleasant experience it used to be.

And now, I must find my friend I promised to give the 'comb-cleaning liquor' to...