Pommm, pompompom; Pommm, pompompom ... the sound of music on hold at YouFIRST (should be called SomeoneElseFirst I think) as I pass 10 minutes on hold yet again.

Really, what is the point of offering pre booking for T5 Elemis treatments when there are so rarely any available? And why compound the pain for premium customers by writing to them again a week before departure when every slot is full?

I first called at 0900, 28 days before departure, which is supposedly when they open. All slots already taken except one at 3.5 hours before the flight. BA person seemed confused about whether bookings had opened at 28, 29, 30, or 31 days. There are only two spa therapists anyway, I was told.

I have tried again a couple more times, but each time I have to spend 8-10 mins on hold, then give all my details (locator reference, full name, date of birth, full address, postcode) before they will even LOOK to see whether there is an empty slot.

The whole system is just ludicrous. They should size the capacity of the service so we can get bookings, give us a simple online booking system (or even an efficient phone process), or just stop the pretence that First passengers can simply call up and book a spa treatment.

Offering premium services by lottery seems a very strange way to engender loyalty.

Or maybe I'm just unlucky in lotteries. (The same thing used to happen when VS offered inflight massages, too. 90% disappointments.)