To whom it may concern:

The passenger known as Steve4031 has the approval of other fellow travelers on the message board of flyertalk.com to bring, and eat, a bagel with cream cheese and lox on flight UA7. Please note this shall serve as an official approval notice. Failure to adhere may be met with extreme force by over-zealous UA employees, or their representatives.

/s Flyertalk

There. Print that in case somebody gives you trouble.