Introduction There are some 5* hotels that I would definately not visit again. To be honest I am of two-minds about staying at Carlton Cannes again.This hotel is not good value for money, and for me it is not in the best location. On the other hand my stay was consistently barely acceptable, and consistency is relaxing. Service Almost nothing is complimentary in this hotel, not even the Wi-Fi. At one point it felt like the staff were plotting to extort tips by removing items (in my case the coffee cups) from my room such that I am forced to call reception and have replacements delivered. Perhaps I am impatient - perhaps these cups are only supposed to appear at turn-down? Dining Nothing special. The ingredients are fresh. It might be nicer to take a taxi to a proper restaurant, for a proper meal, and pocket the savings. Breakfast was relaxing and adequate, but you may get photographed by outside tourists if you take a window seat.If you have food alergies, be warned that their gluten-free bread is a clotted powder, so bring your own. Room The plumbing is dated such that you will hear the toilets of other guests at random hours. The electrics are dated such that some sockets may have stopped working.On the latter point, I needed to access to one more working mains socket so I unplugged the minibar, and the minibar had unussually large number of cables attached. Those cables turned out to be part of a silent alarm system for tracking items in the minibar. Clearly this hotel has problematic guests, but at least reception believed me when I told them their minibar was still in one piece.Decor was plain with a cheesy photograph of a random actor. Bed was ordinary. The sheets were a good thick cotton. Basically it is what you would expect of 5*, and not one thing more. Check In I imagine this hotel's small pier might be a nice place to start if you are a passenger on a private yaught, but arriving by taxi was not a bad experience.My room key needed replacing several times, and reception concluded that one of their machines had stopped working. My check-in could have gone smoother. Overall Decidely ordinary. Guests Mostly retiries.This is the only hotel where I have actually had my pockets picked. I cannot say if my thief was guest or staff, but that experience may go some way to explaining why this hotel feels the need to alarm their minibars. Location If you are considering location then I suspect you are exploring the old town and the islands by foot, for which Radison Blu is more conveniently located.The InterContinental is at the epicentre of a different kind of ecosystem with beach dining and spa; the Marriot next door has a casino.