Jimboliguy, I would call the airline, explain how offended you were and that "for this very embarrassing experience" you would like xx(number) of confirmed 1st class upgrade certificates. Or, you could ask for a 1st class ticket to anywhere they fly. In fact, the experience was "so embarrassing" that you are considering switching your loyalty to another airline. These folks will definitely be empathetic and you can probably get what you ask for.
No pun intended "Take 'em to the cleaners".