I know this issue well. Well enough to understand that it’s different for everybody. I can only speak to what has worked for me, and that is to fly F (or at least J) whenever possible. I generally have a drink or two before the flight (in the lounge or otherwise). On the plane, I make sure to notice and appreciate any extra space I have and take my time looking at the menu, talking to the flight attendants, or whatever else I can occupy myself with. Making sure I am in the middle of an engaging book also helps. I always have my favorite songs and earbuds at the ready. A pre-departure drink helps, if available, and I am ready to “enjoy” the flight as much as possible. I think of my seat as my “home” for the next however many hours and look forward to watching movies, reading, or listening to music undistracted. (When do we get to do that at home??)

As others have mentioned, anti-anxiety meds are always an option, but only if you forgo the alcohol. I have never mixed and never would.

Know that you aren’t alone and many others are experiencing the same thing. I wish you all the best.