This is all very helpful. I have absolutely no plans to just show up, which is why I'm planning six months out and asking on forums what the recommendations are. We also have no desire to attempt to skirt policies, nor do we want to stay in the typical matchbox sized European room. As you know, with kids, there needs to be at least a little bit of room to roam.
We would love to go to Italy, but we may look at Airbnb and apartments instead of hotels, though that removes the opportunity to use a whole bunch of hotel points that we haven't had a chance at yet.
Since we haven't decided on a specific location, the successful experienced mentioned on specific properties are extremely helpful. No point in me calling up every Italian and German hotel if none of them are going to allow for an option at all--so I appreciate the notes on those countries.
It sounds as though SPG might be a better way to go than Marriott, at least with what we're trying to do.