1.5 hours is plenty at OGG.
2 hours should be enough at HNL. Would not recommend less if you have to exit security to retrieve your luggage.
AA won't accept interline bags from another airline even on its own award tickets.
HA will charge you baggage fee.
Your wife and kids can stay airside and eat some dinner while you go get the luggage and re-check them with AA. The luggage also need to go thru agriculture inspection at HNL so there is an extra step.