I guess I'm just particularly unlucky.

Using the Chinese Ofo Android app, there's no option for credit card under Wallet, only options for payment by Alipay or Wechat. Indeed, the instructions say just that, "充值方式为微信、支付宝和Apple pay."

Alipay would not take my non-Mainland credit card. And my Mainland debit card works only with a Chinese ID number.

And looking at the fine print, it seems Ofo has a 12-65 age limit.

I'm glad this works for some, but really, the stress there has to be on some. For the rest of us, it's a time-wasting mess.