Originally Posted by
Proudelitist
And this illustrates WHY I never give up a seat if asked (unless I am getting a better seat in trade, which I never am) and why I boot poachers without even considering their predicament.
It's a competition. A competition for comfort. A competition for ease of the travel experience. A competition to be first to snag that seat over all the others who want it. It means being willing to spend the extra $$ vs someone who isn't. It means being knowledgeable about booking seats in advance vs an ignorant kettle who asks for seats at the airport check-in. It means having some status to leaverage vs someone who doesn't. it's a matter of luck too, avoiding IRROPS and random issues vs. the poor sucker who became a victim of them.
When you get that seat, you won the competition. It's dog eat dog. Sorry...those who are weak perish, those who are strong get the exit row aisle.
I would love to be able to offer platitudes about feeling good by being nice to someone in need. If that's your bag, fine. You chose to give it away and sit in the middle. Your choice. But me? No. I can feel sympathy for a person's predicament...if it's not completely of their own making...but not enough to give up what I fought for and won.
I think Karma is a superstitious and irrational notion. Thinking kind acts will come back to you someday is a fine Disney narrative, but not a dimension of reality as we know it.
I think courtesy is not bothering other people. Asking for a swap is discourteous, not refusing a swap.
To each his own. I don't see politely asking someone for something that leaves you better off, but doesn't leave them worse off, as discourteous. That's not asking me to give up anything I had "won." Politely asking me to swap 2C for 3C, or 10C for 10D (in an ABC-DEF configuration)? Sure, fine by me. Makes the requester better off, and leaves me no worse off.
Demanding? Absolutely discourteous. Getting huffy/attempting to guilt trip if the request is refused? Absolutely discourteous. Asking me to take a worse seat? Absolutely discourteous.
In my case, if the person in 21F had said "sorry, my wife is here in 21E, would you mind taking 21A (identical to 21F, on the other side of the plane) instead," I would have had absolutely no problem with it.
I rarely ask for a swap, but when I do, it's always for a seat that's at least comparable, and often better. As an example, a few months ago, I was on the aisle in the last row of Comfort+ on an E175 (9C maybe?), with my spouse and child across the aisle and in the row behind me in regular economy (10D and 10F for the purposes of the example). I sat in 10C, and kept a close eye out. When the person in 10C was approaching the seat and giving me the "you're in my seat" look, I stood up and asked if they would mind taking 9C. If they had said no, I would have immediately moved, but they were quite pleased to get extra legroom and the snack basket.