So,

On Jul 16, 2017, I did my initial application with GOES. My status changed to Pending Review.
On Jul 23, 2017, I received an email from Passport India
On Jul 24, 2017, I booked an appointment with a PSK in Chennai
On Jul 25, 2017, I went to the PSK, was a slow three-stage process. They gave me a sheet that said ‘Granted’ but subject to police verification
On Jul 26, 2017, a policeman came home
On Jul 28, 2017, status changed to GEP Verification Process has been initiated on your application. Once inputs from all the concerned Government Authorities are received, the Report will be shared with U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP). No queries would be entertained in relation to your GEP application status at the Passport Offices and PSP Call Centre. You may contact CBP for further updates on the processing of your GEP application.

Now – waiting. I called up the call centre, and they told me that my status was pending with the Commissioner of Police, Chennai Circle.

Just tooooo slowwwwww…