Do you sometimes tell people about us? Not me and you. But you and us. As in FT us. Ay Carumba, that’s a messy sentence. But I know you understand.

Even though I fell off the grid for a little while, FT was always there in the back of my mind. I think it always will be. This community is way better than a religion and it’s far more fun than a cult. We actually get stuff done.

I mean take my wife for example. Seriously, someone take her.

Kidding. But actually, her sister is free.

Anyway, my better half wisely decided to come collect our daughter. Incidentally, why do people say “my better half?” My better half is from the waist down, not the woman I married. But I digress. So she booked her plane ticket, booked something called an AirBNB and then for good measure, threw in a rental car.

In the space of 2 days, she aborted the accommodation, blindly accepted the puke mobile from whoever she rented it off and then blew off a pair of plane tickets because our temperamental teenager decided that she didn’t want to stay in LAX after all – and in an attempt to annoy me, they both decided to fly home on the same flight as me.

And that’s the fundamental difference.

A true believer, a true FT’er wouldn’t tolerate such nonsense. Firstly, any serious member of our tribe wouldn’t contemplate using AirBNB unless there were a pot of points at the other end. And no serious FT’er would accept a puke filled rental car without a full on arm waving session with a person of importance - which resulted in a full refund, a wad of upgrade vouchers and a date with the station managers hot ex wife. And who just blows off 2 perfectly serviceable airline tickets, without at least trying to pry something of value from an overworked agent. Or their dimwitted reservation engine. Hang Up And Try Again means nothing to the people who refuse to follow. Or learn.

To me, the very essence of travel is not just the destination, but the whole maximizing the last drop out of the journey. I’m still a hack compared to most, and while I might like to regale the odd person on here with my First Class exploits, the simple truth of the matter is that I might have only ever paid for revenue F once or twice. And that was between Australia and New Zealand. So it hardly counts.

Sure, I’ve had plenty of client-funded travel where I accidentally booked revenue F. Like 25 times in a row. But the client in question was this quirky little German software company and their accounting department was run by a portly woman called Stephanie who kept asking me if I wanted a Weiner Schnitzel for lunch. Every single day I was in the office. Apparently she loved Australia and all things Australian. But hey, I can’t help it if she wanted me. She’s only human.

Ok, I think we’re done. For now. I’m writing this from my favorite watering hole (the same place Number 1 son washes dishes). My current wife says I spend way too much time here. By the way, if you do actually meet her one fateful day, we all need to stick to the same story. My handle isn’t “eightblack” on FT and I go to the local pub maybe once every 6 months. I’m counting on you to back me up. Otherwise I’m going to be living in your basement. And drinking your bourbon.

As I was winging my way home last night from LA, I thought how lucky I have been to be a part of a community such as FT. I mean, 2 FT’ers had a significant part to play in the logistics of this very trip. Actually maybe I can blame them for the whole thing going pear shaped.

To everyone who posted a comment, I thank you. This is my favorite corner on FT. For very good reason. There are some simply stupendous story tellers. Way, way better than me. People like Macabus. Seat2A. And SFO777. The list goes. I never get tired of reading their tales.

Over and out. Or if you speak teenager…Yeet!Yeet! And YeeBoi!