OP's rant is not about long lines, efficiency or the immigration process in general. Rather, he was subjected to a specifically rigorous immigration & customs experience which may have been caused by:
1. random selection
2. targeted selection due to attitude, observations, unwillingness to answer simple questions such as the address at which he was staying)
3. targeted selection of people who meet a general description because border authorities are looking for such a person and need to verify that OP isn't that person.

This happens at pretty much every border in the world. You can enter NRT 100 times and on the 101st, they are looking for a 5'10" male with brown hair and all of those people get a bit more attention.

If you don't know your cousin's address or the address of the hotel at which you will be staying, it is adviseable to obtain this before departure.