Update, rmadisonwi and CaptainMiles got me started, I'll be PMing them for their "thanks"

Turns out I had a math error, and am now counting on some SDC goodness, but thanks to them I finalized my pre-mileage run (while the family is away AND so I can celebrate 1,000,000 (not 1,000,001 or 999,999) as the wheels touch down in SFO in J-class.

Needed 2923 to do it, which resulted in DEN-BOI-LAX-SFO-PDX-SFO. It better credit that way.... I even knew folks in DEN, BOI, and PDX, too, so, serendipity.

What I learned:
United operates in some alternative universe where their PQM does not correspond to any of the following:
1. gcmap (annoyingly off by up to +/-5 miles)
2. star-alliance route finder (annoyingly off by +/-10+ miles at times)
3. did some coding to get gcmap (I guess) out of google maps. This was the worst.

So, yes, without the old United pdf timetable -- which would have been extremely useful for this exercise -- it became an exhaustive search over all possible hub1-spoke-hub2 routings which got the job done. Another good job for abusing Microsoft Excel.

Strangely, sat next to a bloke coming back from pdx on this "exact mile run" who just crossed his 2MM the flight before. He was bemused that he got called aside and handed something before the flight -- he hoped it was an upgrade but was only a card saying "thanks, now go sit in coach".

I bet I don't even get a card....