You might be interested in this:

http://www.takazawa-y.co.jp/

It's been nearly 5 years since I was there, but it met most of your criteria in Tokyo. When I was there, they were 4 tables in a lovely little restaurant (they had just doubled from 2). Takazawa and his small staff run the kitchen, and serve some dishes personally, while his lovely wife, who speaks English fluently, stays in the dining room to ensure you have a perfect experience.

You may want to do some research, as I have no idea if the format has changed. It appears on the website that it may have changed to some type of bar format rather than a fine dining restaurant, but I didn't look too long.

I wouldn't say a jacket was required here, but when I was there, I and the men at 2 of the other 3 tables had worn sport coats, not tie.