Is having AS put you in F on OGG-OAK and then taking the train from Oakland to Sacramento reasonable? Main drawback to that is the daily OGG-OAK nonstop lands at midnight. While not a red eye, that's not exactly pleasant and would necessitate spending the night in Oakland.

AS automatically blocks the seat next to a customer with a lap infant, so the empty seat next to you will be the last one they fill. If the flight is sold out, it will be occupied, but that at least gives you a decent chance. In probably a dozen flights on AS with a lap infant, we got the empty seat next to us more than half the time, including flights with only one or two empty seats on the plane. The way we typically did it (on AS and other airlines) was to get aisle and window seats assigned and then offer to swap the window seat for the middle if someone was assigned the middle. No one ever said no to that offer! So I would expect that you'll be able to sit next to your wife, at least.

The apparent aircraft swap is frustrating, but AS is definitely the airline that treated us the best in coach with a lap infant.