I'm very anti-social at times. One of those times is when I've just travelled a long way.

So please, please, please, stop insisting on making check-in an 'experience' for everyone. I want my arrival at a hotel to be an exercise in getting my into my room and left alone in an absolute minimum of time. You already have all my details - or at least have had the opportunity to capture them. You've probably already selected what room I'm getting. You've certainly got my credit card details.

Fundamentally, I want a quiet, relaxing room, and I want to get there as soon as possible. I don't want a welcome drink, chit-chat, forms, unrequested mini-tours of the facilities, an escort to my room or a 10-minute lightswitch and television masterclass. I want a key and the lift, and to be left alone until I request otherwise.

I know others want full-on fawning service, or feel slighted if they're not personally welcomed. I know the marketing people love getting front desk staff to lecture customers who had the temerity not to book on the hotel's website. I don't.