Where is the LAN lounge at SCL again?


Well…I’m still not entirely sure; I guess if you check in at SCL and are flying business class or whatever “ruby”, “black” level of their program, you go through a separate security and enter the lounge. HOWEVER, if you are connecting in SCL it’s a bit of a different story. We exited our flight from GRU and went through connecting security and wound up back in the terminal, which is normal. Started following the signs for lounges, AA lounge, sure we found that, oh the priority pass/amex/chile vip card/prettymucheverycardonearth lounge, we found that. Where is the LAN lounge? Well if you go on their website it directs you to level 4 - https://www.latam.com/en_us/about-us...lounges-latam/ Ok? Where is level four? Is it up? Is it down? What floor am I on?

We ended up walking back and fourth through the terminal looking for the lounge, eventually we gave up as my wife was hungry again. She spotted a Dunkin Donuts. In Sao Paulo we don’t have any and we miss donuts. So we walked in, and oddly no one was working, but there were donuts, the lights were on, just no one was home. We stood around waiting, eventually someone came out and said they were closed, my wife almost broke down, she really got excited for donuts, only to have the chance snatched away, by “We’re closed”. She went so far to ask what happens to the fresh, leftover donuts, do they “throw them away”? Sensing her disappointment I thought she might have gone rummaging through the garbage looking for donuts, she wanted them badly. Eventually she gave up and we walked a little further into the Food Court.

In Sao Paulo we don’t have “chicken tenders” for some reason, don’t ask, don’t know. We spotted Johnny Rockets, and my wife felt like chicken tenders, we got there, sat down and noticed they had FREE REFILLS on drinks! That’s a dark art in Brazil, you get a CAN, you want ice, and you ask for it and you get a class with a cube, we‘re used to the good ole’ USA ways. We browsed the menu, my wife of course knew what she wanted and promptly asked for tenders, welp, they were out. The look of utter disappointment overtook my wife, this is a look I’m familiar with (read donuts) and I knew it wasn’t going to be a good next 20ish hours before we got to eat normally again, no donuts and now no chicken tenders...She settled on a children’s burger, and I got some sort of chicken cheesesteak. Our meals eventually came and if you said a children’s burger means you get TWO burgers, well, you win. Although living in Brazil, you learn to roll with certain things, getting strange things brought to your table is part of the norm here. Our meals we’re passable, but it didn’t matter, we weren’t planning on eating close to 3am local time on the flight, so it hit the spot.

We paid and went on our way to see if we could track down the lounge, because at that point, we were pretty damn defeated. Now, I have a slight stubbornness about me, I like to think I know airports and how they work, but SCL I felt like a tourist, eventually after walking up and down the terminal four times I gave up and walked into the lounge that had an entire window taken up by credit cards they took to get into the lounge and asked where the LATAM lounge was. He goes, “oh it’s in the duty free, use the elevator” IN THE DUTY FREE? I asked. What the hell? Ok, so we walked back and found the duty free, walked in the "out" door and turned right and found the elevator. OHHHHH there is the lounge. Great. Scanned our boarding passes, grabbed the Wi-Fi password and did the quick “let’s find two seats not near anyone else search but close enough to the bar and food so we don’t have to travel far” seat game. We found something upstairs near a decently stocked bar, not decent enough because they had bad gin and at this point I needed a drink.

So I poured one, the bottle slipped:


Wouldn’t you know it, I needed another one, the damn bottle slipped again:


It was the night that VP debate was on TV for those of you in the US, you know, for those that get to live outside the US, I’m sure you know too, but watching that required more alcohol than the lounge had or my liver could handle, I’m not sure which one. I gave up on watching that and changed into “something more comfortable” for the flight.

It was getting close to boarding, so we packed up and ventured over to our gate. We had to walk by the closed Dunks again and if you said they’d be opened, well, you win; you win reading more of this drivel, enjoy. We stocked up on donuts, don’t know why they said it was closed, don’t care, just grabbed six something around that number of donuts for our flight. I ate two before we got on the plane, don’t judge me, I haven’t had a donut in six months and now writing this, I want another one...