Had some time on my hands, so I read this thread all in one go. From five years of experience, it looks like we can find some rules to live by:
Rule 1 - never enter a drive thru line with concrete lane barriers unless there's absolutely no one in front of you. Just go inside. Much less chance of 😡.
Rule 2 - select check out lines carefully in supermarkets and shops. Express lanes aren't always what they seem. Check the carts. Watch out for cat food.
And be ready to switch lines in case of IROPS.
Corollary to Rules 1 and 2 - if you are in a rush it will almost always be less stressful to be in a hung line inside than in your car. Seems to be a function of expectation of continuous action. Maybe the sense of sharing frustration with other people in line that you miss in the car.
Rule 3 - Starbucks in particular is problematic. They allow nearly unlimited configurations and use code words to describe a lot of them. A line of more than 2 customers is an invitation to back away and find another Starbucks, usually a block or two away.
(I'll add other problem stores in this regard are Bed, Bath, and Beyond and any craft store.)
Rule 4 - Airport Starbucks visits are going to be what they are. Know it's probably going to suck as you approach and if you decide the cuppa is worth it, you have to live with it.
Rule 5 - Starbucks drive thru is double doom. Never get in line. If there's a car in front of you, go inside.

Beyond these certainties, it's pretty clear no place is immune from the self-absorbed.
I'll add one more universal truth that I've observed, though slightly OT.
No matter where it is - east, west, urban center, or suburb - no matter what time or day, the parking lot at Trader Joe's is a cluster...