There are also sometimes (often/always?) exceptions to penalties in the fare rules for death/illness of the traveler, the traveler's companion, or a family member (likely the first two, not sure about the third).

It would likely require documentation, but perhaps a route worth pursuing.

And I'll just add that AA.com's disclosure on penalties is HORRENDOUS. As mentioned, it's buried in pages and pages of difficult-to-read fare rules. Original poster - if you can't sort this out to your satisfaction, it may be worth filing an official complaint with the Dept. of Transportation. If nothing but to push the regulator to require more visibly disclose the key terms.

I recently purchased a flight on AirFrance.com, Delta operated outbound and AF on the return. It was VERY clear during booking exactly what the change fee and cancellation fee was for each leg.