However you do it, if there are children involved it is important to go as one group, due to the ongoing fight against trafficking and slavery. In your case I would suggest you go together via the EEA queue every time, particularly if you are either the father or have a legalised parenting role over the children. In this instance it certainly does not matter if you are married or not. If your wife gets Registered Traveller status then that would make life easier, since all of you could legitimately go EEA if travelling as one parent plus child.