I'd like to know what everyone thinks is the appropriate way for a resort to respond to the following situation.

Checked in. An hour or two later I discovered discolored water coming from all the taps (think deep fecal hue.)

1. When I called the front desk around 4pm, the response should be
A) Offer to move me to another room.
B) Immediately send senior staff to the room to check on the problem.
C) Send an engineer to the room to try to fix the problem.

2. How should the resort communicate.
A) Call me frequently to update me on the status.
B) Send management to personally update me.
C) Don't communicate at all until I call back at 9pm to report the problem has not been fixed.

3. How should management respond at 9pm
A) Apologize profusely
B) Blame the engineer.
C) Offer to work on the water tanks while I'm trying to go to sleep.
D) Give me a key so I can use the shower in another room.

4. At check out (problem has not been fixed), how should the GM respond.
A) Grovel
B) Not charge for the room.
C) Act surprised there was a problem.
D) Claim there was no problem with the previous guest.
E) Blame the engineer again.