what you went thru with va was typical POME over reaction
my passport (non us) is in decrepit condition, you can barely see the coat of arms/wording on the front cover. threads starting tear at corners, 1st page starting to come away from the threads/seams, couple dog eared visa pages, massive/obvious 3cm dog ear at corner of the photo/id page
never had an issue in anywhere. well, except canada but cbsa agents have hissy fits over anything. previous us imm agent actually laughed at how worn out it was, lamented that his wasn't as traveled.
One of my US passports has had almost nothing visible on the cover for some years now; and yet I've used it for well over a million miles of international travel. On the other hand, my much newer, and less normal wear and tear US passport has led to more issues with passport control authorities than my older, much, much worn down cover/used passport. Can't say I'm surprised that the older, faded print on cover passport has given me less issues since most reasonable people would assume that a passport good enough for very recent use at three or more passport control desks within each and every 7 day period would likely be good enough again.