I'm a miserable misanthropist, so take me with a grain of salt, but it's not just hotel check-in. I feel like a lot of American humanity is just really slow at everything (insert obese American joke here).

Buying a ticket on the BART? or Chicago L? Takes me about 30 seconds while hordes stand around agape at the machines and take like 5-10 minutes. Ordering food at a local counter-service restaurant? People stand in line for minutes and then are blown away that they have to make a decision when they get to the register. It's staggering. How does the average American get anything accomplished in an average day? In the Midwest and South it's even worse - I call it "life in slow motion."

The paradox is that it should take a guest with status longer to check in than one without - I have to answer the litanity of FD questions about newspaper, turn-down, etc. etc. whereas the average guest literally just has to produce an ID and credit card.